New York born, Bristol based artist My Midnight Heart offers an intimate look into her life with her latest single, “anew.” As she opens up about her experiences entering parenthood, her honesty and transparency are refreshing, as she lays all her cards on the table. Confiding how becoming a mother can require an ego death, she doesn’t shy away from the truth, or pretend that everything is easy and polished, as so often portrayed on social media, where the realities behind closed doors are rarely seen.
My Midnight Heart, aka Angélica Allen shares, “I struggled so much reclaiming my identity with my firstborn, I wrote this song wanting to allow myself to enter a speculative space where I gave of myself easily… Opening to the possibility of being alchemized in the process.”
“anew” emits a hypnotic atmosphere, as kaleidoscopic synths collide with oscillating beats and eerie melodies, creating a mesmerizing, fever-dream sensation that lingers long after the music fades.
Noctis Magazine spoke with My Midnight Heart about the new release, tips for entering into parenthood and transitioning from the fast-paced life in New York city.
Congratulations on the release of “anew.” For those who haven’t heard it yet, how would you describe it in just three words?
Icy. Ethereal. Complex.
“anew” shows a lot of vulnerability as you open up about your own experiences with pregnancy and becoming a mother. What is the number one lesson you have learnt entering motherhood?
Motherhood has taught me basically that I am not in control. Hah, I mean it though. It has brought up a lot of things I didn’t think were triggers or forced me to let go of them. As a struggling perfectionist, I think it’s been a really hard lesson for me to learn but I’ve really been able to apply it to my music and life in general. It’s not giving up, but a loosening of your grip a bit. It’s a non-attachment to the outcome. I think it’s been really important for me to learn how to let things shape themselves. To get out of the way instead of controlling every outcome.
Do you have any tips for anyone who is about to take their first steps into parenthood?
You have no idea what you’re doing and know exactly what you’re doing at precisely that same time and that’s probably the way it’s supposed to be. Try to relax into the feeling of being an ignorant expert. It’s less contradictory than it seems.
Your sound is described as dreamy yet danceable Avant-pop. If your music could be a soundtrack to any TV show or movie, what would it be and why?
I don’t think it would have sounded too out of place in Twin Peaks. Also, the city scenes in the original Bladerunner. I could totally imagine it playing in the background in a place that’s rooted in nostalgia but also somehow futuristic. My music is very nocturnal but specifically feels like those last few hours before sunrise so there’s a quiet hopefulness mixed in there as well.
Originally from New York and now based in Bristol, how have you adjusted to UK living and would you say that your time spent in both cities have contributed to your sound at all?
Honestly, being away from New York has allowed me to slow down. It’s a city I’ll always love but living there can sometimes feel like a prolonged panic attack. I was so obsessed with my productivity and progressing in New York that I wouldn’t give myself the ability to learn and absorb new things. It was just like, very output oriented and my music from that time has an angst in it that definitely reflected an atmosphere of justnotstopping. Bristol has been great for me because there’s a lot of community and things going on but not in an overwhelming sense. My quality of life is better and I’m definitely more relaxed and I think my music is better for it. I have more clarity. I think I really believed I had to suffer for my art to be good and it just feels really good to move on from that.
Can you tell us more about your multisensory in-home rituals, My Midnight Rites?
It’s a response to streaming culture and how we as a culture consume music now. I’m not that person that rallies for “simpler times” etc and I don’t own a CD player or whatever, but I do think it’s important to continue to bring attention to the way social media is changing how we perceive and listen to music. How it’s affecting what we expect songs to be and how they should feel. Basically what I came up with is just shifting the relationship we have to music by making it a multi-sensory experience. I’ve borrowed some ideas from wellness culture and have come up with beautiful rituals that combine sound, scent, etc. to really allow the listener to be present. Why not combine self-care and music? It just makes a lot of sense to me.
“anew” is the first installment of your upcoming project. What else can we expect from the project and can you give us any insight into what other themes you’ll be covering?
I’m releasing a series of singles and an EP that will culminate in a mixtape next summer. These songs are largely newer and so definitely deal with themes like the bittersweet adjustment of expectations, mourning a bit of what you’ve lost while marveling at all the intersecting paths that led you to where you are today. I’ve been studying music production for a while and only recently began to enjoy the work I was coming up with. So much of what I made in the last 5 years is garbage but for the last year or so I finally hit my stride and it’s incredibly exciting to be able to finally tell the story I want to tell without having it translated through someone else’s fingertips. Yeah there’s definitely pieces of the tracks that aren’t perfect but I’m really trying to lean into not always knowing how to do everything and letting things be more organic instead of completely regimented and structured. There’s beauty in that imperfection that I didn’t let my
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Words: Alexander Williams